29 June 2012

bike racks and man-parts

Wowza!  It's been a LONG time since I wrote a blog, but I just had to share this story.

So here goes...

I work in Boulder.  The land of saving the world one granola bar at a time.  They're all into "alternative" transportation, which basically means for Boulder, "Don't drive your car in OUR town; the roads are for Boulderites only." 

The CU-Boulder campus has dramatically increased the number of bike racks so those who are so inclined, or suicidal, can be all feel-goodie and ride their bike.  By the way, by all outward appearances, there is some rule that if you're a student at CU-Boulder then you must drive a ginormous SUV.  Unless you don't live in the City of Boulder.  If you live outside Boulder city limits and own a car, you should own something electric or peddle powered.

Anyway, I digress.

So after driving my ginormous SUV from the town in which I live, which is not Boulder, into Boulder – take that you do-gooders – I park in my parking lot and start walking towards my building.  In front of me is some kid walking along the newly redone sidewalk where they've put in motorcycle parking (guess motorcycles are OK by Boulder standards) and bike racks.  As per the norm with anyone under the age of 30, he has his nose permanantly affixed to the screen of his phone doing the text thing, or playing Angry Birds, or Words with Friends, or something.  Whatever he was doing, he was most definitely NOT paying attention to where he was walking. 

Remember how I said they installed more bike racks on campus?  They're everywhere, including in the middle of sidewalks. 

As I fully expected, Mr. Whatever-I'm-Doing-On-My-Phone-Is-A-Gazzilion-Times-More-Important-Than-Watching-Where-I'm-Walking slams his crotch full tilt into one of the ubiquitous bike racks.  BLAM!  He lets out a bit of an "OOF" then a couple of small whimpers and stands there looking completely and utterly stunned.

I so wanted to say something to him about how I hoped his text message was important enough to disfigure his man-parts, but I figured he was suffering enough.  I can be nice like that sometimes.

See the triangle doo-hickies?  They can do harm to man-parts.

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