23 July 2010

there goes the neighborhood

Today is my birthday.  Happy birthday to me!  Happy birthday to me!  Happy birrrrthdaaaay to meeeee!  Happy birthday to me!

And in honor of my birthday we will be hosting a little thingy at my house on the 31st.  Due to a total lack of caring about (or understanding of) Christian rock festivals it didn't occur to me that on the very same day, "Heaven Fest" will be taking place.

Across the street from my neighborhood.

Right across the street.

View Directions to Peregrine Cir, Longmont, CO 80504 in a larger map

It leads one to think the City of Longmont is in dire need of money, so they rented out Union Reservoir for a one day Christian Music Festival.

Thank you City of Longmont.  I'm so looking forward to this.  I just hope I get to see eleven long-haired friends of Jesus in a chartreuse micro-bus.  (let's see if anyone can tell me where that line came from withOUT using google.)

Now mind you, it's not that it's a Christian Music Festival that I'm so peeved about.  If it was a rap festival or hip hop or classical, I still wouldn't be jumping cartwheels over it.  Granted I've never been able to perform a decent cartwheel in my life, so maybe that metaphor doesn't quite work.

Anyway...  my point is, having "Thousands and Thousands of people from all over Colorado, Wyoming, New Mexico, Utah, Nebraska and Kansas" descending on my neighborhood does not tickle me pink.

According to the City of Longmont they will have law enforcement out to direct people away from our neighborhood and the streets to our neighborhood will be blocked off.

 This makes me wonder... Am I going to be held hostage in my neighborhood?!  Will my guests be able to get in?!

In trying to gather as much defensive information as I could I visited the "Heaven Fest" website.  Wow.  It's almost as if the people attending the festival need constant monitoring.

It's a music festival.  Outside.  In July.  When it's hot.  Next to a large body of water.

What do you suppose the folks attending would be wearing?  Swimsuits perhaps?

Do you know they have a dress code for the festival? 

From the "Heaven Fest" website, and I quote,
MODESTY is the key word. While the style and fashion these days seems to be "less is best," we do not want to be guilty of causing another person to stumble. Girls: Bathing suits are NOT permitted except in the swimming area, and must not be a bikini. Tank tops are fine but bellies must be covered (even though the fashion now is to show it off). Shorts and/or skirts need to be long enough and shirts big enough. SHIRTS and shoes MUST be worn by all at all times."

Heather asked me, "Does it have a dress code for guys, or is it aimed only at women?"  Good question Heather.  I'm thinking it's aimed at women.  Men only have to show up in shirts and shoes.  No pants/shorts/swim trunks necessary.  Just let it alllll hang out boys.

Do you see why I don't go to these things?  I would be asked to leave shortly after entering the venue.

I've got my fingers crossed that the music won't make it to my house.  Just in case I'm going to stock up on copious amounts of alcoholic beverages.  Maybe Heather, Ted, my friends, and I will sit outside in our swimsuits  – the "less is best" style of course.

Enjoy your weekend!