10 August 2011

lights on. lights off. lights on. lights off.

This is a true story.


As I'm sitting in my office doing my work thing, one of our graduate students comes in and asks me, "Who do I contact about the lights in the hallway not working?"  Before I have a chance to respond, The Boss Man calls out from his office, "Flip the switch."  The graduate student looks at me a bit perplexed, then ventures closer to the Boss Man's door and says, "Flip the switch?  Where?"  The Boss Man says, "The switch on the wall."  The graduate student still looking mentally disoriented, replies, "What switch on what wall?  What does it look like?"

At this point, I am desperately struggling to keep it together and decide it might be prudent of me to turn around and rummage in the filing cabinet behind my desk while thinking VERY SERIOUS thoughts as to avoid the snorting noise that I fear will explode from my being at any moment.

The conversation continues with The Boss Man saying, "Come here; it looks just like this," and points to a spot on the wall just inside his office door.  The graduate students peers around the corner and sees this.

He looks very confused and says, "What?"  The Boss Man says, "Turn the lights ON!"

The graduate student still has not fully comprehended the fact that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE LIGHTS THAT A FLIP OF A SWITCH WON'T RECTIFY.

In the meantime, I am doing everything in my power to keep from 1) laughing so hard I snort coffee out my nose or 2) jump up and poke said graduate student in the forehead with a very sharp fingernail and say, "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

The graduate student stammers, "I don't understand.  Where is the switch?"  The Boss Man has reached the point where he's close to 1) laughing so hard HE snorts coffee out HIS nose or 2) pokes said graduate student in the forehead with a very sharp fingernail and says, "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

But being The Boss Man he's a bit more diplomatic and says very patiently, "The light switch is in the hallway."  But apparently the graduate student has never actually had to employ a light switch within the vicinity of the light(s) he would like to illuminate or darken and says, very moronically, "Which hallway?"  The Boss Man and I look at each other then simultaneously slowly turn our eyes and stare dumbfounded at the graduate student.  Momentarily the graduate student realizes that perhaps the light swtich to opearate the lights in the hallway could perhaps?  maybe?  possibly?  be in that very same hallway.

The boss man has by now decided that this kid will pay for his stupidity and says in all seriousness, "This has been a test."  And the graduate student replies very morosely, "And I have failed completely."

This is what he was looking for and I'm hoping eventually found.

No, it does not look identical to the one previously shown him by The Boss Man.  I am hoping the dual switches did not present such a quandary as to cause his brain to explode.