I hope your week started off much better than mine; granted mine wasn't as bad as the guy on the bike, but it shook me up just the same.
If you ride a bike, follow the rules of the road. I drive a big ol' honkin' SUV and when it comes down to it, my car will squish you like a bug. Flat. Pancake. Smooshed. Squished. Splat. You get the picture, and it ain't pretty is it?
isn't pretty, is it?
Now I'm not saying I have anything against bike riders. I don't. The folks in cars that don't follow the rules annoy me as much as the folks on bikes that don't follow the rules. Only difference is, the odds of someone on a bike surviving a run in with my car, are considerably slimmer than someone in a car. However, I am saying this, if you follow the rules of the road then we have no quarrel. You ride downhill at an uncontrollable speed and run a stop sign like the yahoo this morning did *and* make me test out my anti lock braking system (it works quite nicely, thank you) then we have issues.
The look on that kid's face when he saw this big, black machine with a shiny chrome grill that resembles sharp pointy teeth screeching to a stop inches away from his head-phoned clad face was one I hope to never see again. Although, I will take that look over blood and guts any day. I'm not sure if he ever heard the horn, since he had his headphones superglued to his ears. I'm guessing not.
I can only hope he will pay attention to speed limits, traffic signs & signals, and other road rules. The cynic in me says he won't. Then again, after seeing his short life playing across the shiny grill, maybe he'll be a little more cognizant of his driving/riding habits. I hope he realizes how fortunate he is that *I* pay attention!
Heather got her first mobile phone this past summer and in the course of the past couple of months has become a "power" texter. I'm just now figuring out how to get a space between two words, so that just goes to show exactly how much texting *I* do. Not a whole lot.
My mobile company has this nifty feature where I can send a text from my computer. That makes it a lot easier, and faster, for me to respond to Heather by text. Still I prefer to call, but I guess for whatever reason actually talking to someone isn't as effective or something. Must be an oldies thing.
Heather also got her driver's license not too long ago. Heather's a good driver, very conscientious and alert. While I'm in the car. I can only hope that those are her usual driving habits even when I'm not with her.
Personally I don't think mobile phones and cars are a good mix. If you want to use your phone, do me a favor and pull off the road; don't think for a minute you are capable of driving AND dialing or texting or whatever. I would prefer that my family or I do not become one of your victims, thank you very much.
When I was growing up we didn't have mobile phones, computers, iPods, or any of the other "must have" technology that is available today. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. While driving the only thing I had within reach to dink around with was the handle to roll the window up or down, the heater, or the radio. Since I lived in The-Middle-Of-Nowhere, NM we didn't even get radio reception most of the time so no use in dinking.
I think the video put out in Wales as a Public Service Announcement should be mandatory viewing for all drivers – not just teens – on the danger of texting while driving. It's beyond my comprehension how anyone could text while driving and think it's not affecting their driving skills. Sorry folks, it's impossible for a human to look in two different places at the same time. It just ain't gonna happen. It's a chameleon thing, not a human thing. Never mind that both hands aren't on the steering wheel.
If you're a parent, a teen, know a teen, or are yourself a driver, I suggest you watch the video. Warning it is very graphic, but hopefully it will get the message across to some people.
So, I took Heather off to college last Thursday. We get her moved in and go through the day with sporadic anxiety attacks, but nothing alarming. In fact I was relieved when at the end of the day, she sends me a text message and says we probably won't be able to meet up before I head back home because she's found one of her friends and they are doing their thing. Being me, I'm not going to just leave her there without giving her a hug and kiss goodbye. After giving me the perfunctory hug she takes off with her friend, and I head to my car - in tears. I'm glad she seems so OK with this, but I'm not sure I'm OK with this.
Friday, I get up, come home, and consciously not call, text, e-mail or otherwise try to contact Heather. I don't want to be one of those horrible "helicopter" parents that refuses to let their child become a responsible adult.
Sadly, the past few days have been very hard on my baby and she's very, very homesick. Periodically she has what she calls "breakdowns" and gets anxious and cries and feels like she's the only one feeling that way. No matter what I do to try and make her feel better, it's not working. In the span of 10 minutes I receive 4 text messages. "I don't think I can do this." "I want to be home." "I don't want to be here." and "I miss you."
Oh, what's a mom to do? There's nothing I wouldn't do to keep my baby from hurting, but I *know* Heather is capable of "doing this," and will succeed if she could just stop being homesick. There are so many tips, suggestions, ideas of what to do to help your child adjust to college, but all of them require time. I want her to be OK RIGHT NOW! not a day, a week, a month, or a semester from now.
One of our academic advisors told me a story about one of her students who had been in her office to work on some schedule snafu. The advisor notices the girl looks upset about something so the advisor asks the student if there is anything else on her mind. The girl's eyes well up with tears, and she responds, "I'm homesick." The advisor tells her this is very normal and she'll be OK and then asks her where the student is from. The student answers, "Niwot." Niwot?! Niwot is maybe a 20 minute drive from campus. This poor girl is homesick and home is only 8 miles away. Just goes to show that home is at the other end of the earth when you are on a strange campus, living with strange people in a strange room, and out of your comfort zone.
I just want my baby to be happy, safe, and comfortable. And I know she will be. Hopefully soon. Very, very soon. If not, mom's going to have her own "breakdown" and will be roaring up to Laramie to hug her baby.
I dislike cold weather. Actually, dislike is not strong enough a word. Using the word hate seems overly negative; it's hard for me to hate anything. Despise, loath, deplore, execrate might be more like it. I've been waiting patiently all summer for summer, and guess what? No summer. In fact in the past month we have broken the record for having the lowest high temperature and lowest low temperature to date. Where are the 90+ degree days? Huh? I wanna know! They sure aren't here. Next thing you know I'll be having to put the sandals, shorts, t-shirts, and other summer clothes away and pull out the winter gear. It's August for Pete's sake! Bring on the heat!
OK, so I started this yesterday and realized I'm full of shit. I'm not *that* upset about the weather; although, I wouldn't mind some summer days before winter comes back and bites me in the butt.
I'm upset my daughter is growing up and is going away to college. The key words being "going away."
Wyoming road
I've heard from many folks trying to help ease my sadness that she's "only" two hours away, that she'll come home on the weekends, that this is "normal," etc. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I appreciate the words and thoughts, but it just ain't helping.
My car is my portable stereo system, and I like to jam out while on the road. The music will be blasting while I'm listening to an AC/DC, Aerosmith, Dwight Yoakum, Jimmy Buffett, or whoever CD and I'll have some sort of memory of Heather. For instance I was listening to INXS yesterday morning and the song "Baby Don't Cry" came on. I was instantly back in a Honda Civic in 1994 driving from Clovis, NM to Boulder to see Auntie Elmo and this song was playing. Looking back in the rear view mirror and seeing little 3-year old Heather jamming and bopping her head and singing along! Just a few minutes before she was fussy and was tired of being in the car and wanted to be "home," but this song comes on and she says, "Louder Mommy!" so I crank it to make-your-ears-ring loud, and we're both singing along at the top of our lungs and all is right in her world.
I will miss those moments. We had a lot of them, and oh, man, I hope we have more. But I have to accept that she is grown up, moving on, becoming an adult, and getting her own life. The lyrics are still so very relevant. I hope she knows this.
She's not "leaving" me so much as expanding, growing, finding her own path.
Glacier National Park trail
I can say that the next few weeks are going to be very hard on me, but I also know that Heather's got it a lot worse than mom. Her life is going to be turned upside down, inside out, and every which way but loose. Heather's scared, nervous, excited, all of those things we experience when we venture into the unknown. I know that she'll land on her feet, and she'll ALWAYS have me to come home to. If she wants.
For the past few months I've been considering getting a canine pal. There are three kitties that live with me now, and part of the conundrum is whether they would approve of a canine joining the fold; although, there are other issues I'm mulling over. It's been over 20 years since I've had a dog to call my own. With the exception of a few short months, I've never been without some sort of pet, and I love my cats, but think it would be super cool to have a dog too.
When I moved to Colorado in 2001, the townhouse I moved into came with a cat, who I named Doe.
Doe aka The Crankmeister
Doe's previous owners had abandoned him when they moved out about a month prior to me moving in. According to the neighbors, Doe didn't get along with their other cats, so they just left him. Frankly, that whole situation stinks on too many levels for me to even go into. I'd be here all day ranting and raving. Needless to say, their loss was my gain.
Doe initially was an indoor/outdoor cat, but over the years I made him strictly an indoor cat. The lifespan of an indoor/outdoor cat is about 5 – 7 years; an indoor cat can live well into their teens. Doe is now probably pushing the 12 to 13 year mark. At one point Doe got into some sort of tussle with another cat and ended up with stitches in his ear and an Elizabethan collar. Needless to say, it just made more sense to keep him indoors - for his sake as well as my bank account's. Doe's had some serious health issues over the past couple of years, and recently was diagnosed with FIV (kitty AIDS) and has to be segregated from other cats. Prior to finding out about his FIV, I had adopted Willa. I wasn't sure how Doe would take to having another cat in the house, but they became buds. Maybe not best buds, but they enjoyed playing with each other and on the rare occasion would actually snuggle together.
Willa & Doe
After finding out about Doe's FIV status, I had to make him a permanent home in the master suite, which meant Willa was locked out of my bedroom and had no kitty friend to play with. Doe does just fine living alone in his own little kingdom, but Willa was getting depressed. So, off I go to the Longmont Humane Society and come home with Izzy.
Izzy
Izzy is a spaz. There's just no other way to put it. Willa had been described as "life of the party" and she was. There wasn't anything she wouldn't get into. Willa's tame compared to Izzy. Most of my houseplants look as if they've been through a hurricane. The one set of curtains I do have up are full of kitty punch holes from the floor to about two feet off the ground (thank goodness for Levolor blinds on the rest of the windows.) At last count I've replaced two lamps. If it's small enough to knock onto the floor and chase around, Izzy makes it a cat toy. Yesterday Heather caught Izzy playing with a Mini Reese's Peanut Butter cup. Fortunately, she hadn't quite got the wrapper opened and my (light beige) carpet wasn't covered in chocolate and peanut butter.
So, back to the canine issue...
Now that I'm no longer living in a townhouse and have a yard and more room, I'm seriously considering getting a dog. There are so many out there that need homes, and I really do like dogs almost as much as I like cats, so I'm thinking maybe I should give one a "forever" home. I visit the Longmont Humane Society website and the Boulder County Humane Society website and the Maxfund website and the numerous rescue groups websites. I always find at least one dog that looks like one I'd like to add to my family.
how can you not fall in love with that?
There are lots of things to consider about getting a dog. They do take a lot more attention and time than cats. Going away for a couple of days? No prob with cats; leave a bowl of kibble and lots of water and a clean litter box and I'm good to go. I couldn't do that with a dog. I would have a few choices though. Take the dog with me, find a good friend who really likes my dog and will dog-sit, or board the dog. Taking a dog with me on a road trip or camping trip might be doable. With a road trip though, I risk not being able to find a hotel that accepts dogs, and depending on where I'm going I would have the issue of what to do with the dog once I reach my destination. Since the majority of my road trips are to National Parks, it's problematic in that National Parks will allow dogs in the park, but basically they have to stay in the car. Pets aren't allowed on trails or beyond 100 feet of open roads and campgrounds. What fun would it be for a dog to just sit in a car while I'm off exploring? It wouldn't be a whole lot of fun for me either; I'd want to take my dog exploring with me. Never mind that I would never ever ever leave my dog in a car in the summer for any amount of time, and maybe only for a few minutes in weather where there was no worry about overheating. Having a friend look after my dog would be fine, as long as I could find a friend willing to do it. Hello friends! Do I have any volunteers?! Boarding would be OK as well, but it's expensive and what if the dog didn't like it?
Next there is the whole at home care thing. With cats I just put out a litter box and scoop it each day, and the cats are happy. Dogs you have to take outside for walks and carry little baggies to clean up the poop. Having to take a dog for a walk has its own bennies. For instance it would get me off my butt and out exercising. But now I'd have to carry a bag of poop through the neighborhood until I got home or found a bin to toss it. Then there's the whole I can't stand cold/snow issue. In the winter I'd still have to go out for walks even though the weather sucks. I suppose I could just open the side door and let the dog out in the yard, but that's not really fair to the dog is it? The dog will still want to go out for a walk and romp and play. While I do have a yard, it's certainly not big enough for a romp, and I'd still have to go out to clean up the mess. If I have to do that, I might as well just go for the walk. In the cold and/or snow which I abhor!
So, I'm constantly reminding myself that getting a dog is a big responsibility. That's not to say getting a cat isn't. Cats require care and love and they have health issues (vet bills). Since Doe gets meds twice a day, when I go out of town, I have to board him. If I'm gone for more than two or three days, I'll have to board all three of them.
My cats are part of my family, and I think it's abominable when people "relinquish" their pet(s) just because of health issues or they don't like the personality or the pet has "destructive habits." A person doesn't get rid of a child when it gets sick or has personality traits the parent doesn't really like or understand or when the child breaks/burns/trashes something. Pets aren't disposable is my point. They are a lifetime commitment, and I take that very seriously.
My mind isn't made up one way or the other; there are a lot of pros and cons to consider. The fact is the pros will always outweigh the cons, so maybe I shouldn't say my mind isn't made up but that I'm putting off the inevitable.
So, as all of you know, my daughter, Heather, is headed off to college next week. First I want to know where all those years went?! It's so not fair that the years have disappeared, but even if I'm not ready for my little girl to be a young adult, she is.
If I can offer you one piece of advice it would be, enjoy the time you have with your kiddos while you can.
Heather has never been anything but a joy to me. Even in the few times (all of which I can probably count on one hand) she was upset with mom for whatever reason, she wasn't the sort of person I didn't want to be around. She didn't throw herself on the floor and have temper tantrums. She didn't yell, "I hate you! I hope you get hit by a truck!" She didn't go to her room and slam her door and then throw things against the wall. Most times, I would just get "the" look and she would go off to her room to cool off by herself. Heather has raised her voice only a few times, and in most of those instances it was to give someone who was upsetting mom a piece of her mind. She's very defensive of mom, and mom is very defensive of her. We are a good team, and we look out for each other.
I'm going to miss her. A lot. When I have to leave her at her residence hall and get in my car and drive home alone, I will cry. A lot.
Working where I do, helicopter parents are a way of life. I have never been one and won't turn into one when she's on her own for the first time. As much as it pains a parent to see their child in any sort of distress; children, no wait, make that young adults, need to learn by their mistakes. That's not to say, if she calls and asks for help, advice, a shoulder, an ear, or a couple of dollars I'm going to tell her, "no," but I'm not going to tell her how, when, where, and why she needs to do whatever it is she needs to do to succeed in the grown up world. Heck, I'm hardly qualified to do that, since I'm not so sure of my own successes. Failures walk up and slap you in the face, successes tend to be more subtle.
However, I can say with great pride that Heather is my most important and obvious success. Heather is well adjusted, smart, beautiful (inside and out,) articulate, confident, and she possesses one quality that will serve her well in anything that she does, at anytime in her life – common sense. Heather will do well. I know this. But I still will miss her. A lot.
Daily I peruse the many news sources online, and I watch local and national news every morning and evening. I read the online versions of the small town newspapers in the towns near where I grew up. http://www.ruidosonews.com/ and http://www.alamogordonews.com/ I subscribe to Time and Newsweek. I visit websites for Denver's channel 9 News, Denver's channel 7 News, Boulder Daily Camera, Sydney Morning Herald, and Irish Times on a regular basis.
I like knowing what's going on in the rest of the world, and tend towards the more morbid and disturbing news articles, much to my IM partners dismay. It's my duty to share these stories with those closest to me; I am one sick puppy. During the day, I try to be cognizant of lunch time and will attempt to refrain from sending really gross and disturbing information just before. Although, it might be a great diet aid. Might have to try this and see if it works; I'll keep you posted.
Reading about nature and science is quite fascinating for me – it stimulates my brain. If I could go back and do college all over again, I'd go for the natural sciences stuff. Maybe I'd study zoology or botany or maybe get a degree and become a National Park Ranger. So, yeah, I read a lot of nature, animal, & plant articles. http://www.cnn.com/ has some great links to science and nature as does http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/index.html. You should check them out if you're into that sort of thing.
Since I'm a travel fanatic, I read articles related to travel. Did you know that "Urilift" is considered one of the "world's greatest bathrooms?" I didn't. Do you even know what a Urilift is? I didn't. Apparently it's a urinal in various locations in Europe that "pops" up out of the ground at night when all the drunks are out carousing. Amazing, eh?
I subscribe to just about every travel magazine there is, and read them from cover to cover. If I can't go to an exotic location or live on a Caribbean Island, I can at least read about it!
Occasionally, I'll check out articles on some of the more self destructive of celebrities. Not that I actually *enjoy* seeing celebrities crash to earth with a resounding SPLAT! but sometimes it's good to know that even with all my faults; hangups; problems; crisis; or whatever, I'm by comparison, fairly normal. Did you know Nicholas Cage is in trouble with the IRS for not paying over $6 million in income taxes? Can you imagine having the kind of money it would take to OWE over $6 million in taxes? Both Britney and Lindsey appear to not be too thrilled with the bleach blond looks they both are sporting recently. Leonardo DiCaprio is holidaying in Ibiza "surrounded by beach beauties." Victoria Posh Spice Beckham is reputedly going to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol. Not quite earth shattering, but entertaining none the less.
It is disturbing (and at times *very* amusing) some of the things I read or hear about. There are a lot of things wrong in the world – human and animal torture and abuse, starvation, poverty, epidemics, pandemics, wars, and the list could go on and on. These things have been going on since the beginning of time, but it's been just in the past several years how easily this information is shared. With the ease of getting all of this sometimes irrelevant and useless information, it's easy to see how I've become a news junkie.
In all of my news reading/watching it never ceases to amaze and amuse me some of the headlines that pop up. Just this morning on the CNN website I saw the headline, "Inmate Hides Gun In Fat Layers." My first reaction was, "whaaa?" I *had* to click on the article; this headline wasn't one I could just let go by without satisfying my curiosity. So, click I did, and was redirected to a Houston, TX television station news site. Only in Texas, right? As I read the article my "Whaaa?" reaction turned to "Ewwwwwwwwww!" Apparently a morbidly obese man (600 lbs.) had been arrested and was taken to the pokey, where he was searched, finger printed, and all that other happy inmate intake stuff. When taken to the showers he fessed up to the guard that he had a 9mm handgun and two clips of ammo on him – literally. This man had been searched three times already. Three times! One of the mucky mucks at the county lockup made this statement, "We teach officers to lift up and look under." Apparently, the staff is trained in lifting and looking, but I'm suspecting, being trained and actually having the stomach to do it are two totally different things.
So, before I head off to read some more interesting, mind blowing, mind numbing, stupid, entertaining, stimulating, and/or educational articles, I will leave you with a list of some recent headlines. Believe me, you can't make this stuff up.
